What do you can wolf that meditates?

Aware Wolf

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15

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3

21

What did the sapphire’s best friend tell her?

“You’re a real gem.”

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12

3

7

19

Why couldn’t the family leave the room after playing with Legos?

They were blocked.

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7

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16

3

Why don’t phones ever go hungry?

They have plenty of apps to choose from.

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7

11

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1

What did the geometry teacher say when the class had trouble solving a problem?

“Let’s try a different angle.”

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2

9

10

What vegetable is kind to everyone?

The sweet potato.

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19

0

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6

What kind of cleaning product feels a lot of motivation in life?

All-purpose.

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2

7

13

What is Marco’s favorite clothing store?

Polo.

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7

18

10

What did the baker say when she won an award?

“It was a piece of cake.”

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3

3

9

What kind of shape may have been knighted?

Cir-cles.

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12

8

18

2

What’s a writer’s favorite train station?

Penn Station.

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3

7

12

1

Why do pancakes always win at baseball?

They have the best batter.

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5

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17

3

Which bathroom appliance would be the worst life preserver?

The sink.

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21

2

What did the dad say when his golden retriever was caught eating a hot dog?

“It’s a dog eat dog world out there.”

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21

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10

How do you weigh a millennial?

In Instagrams.

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11

3

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless.

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12

8

Which U.S. state is known for its especially small soft drinks?

Minnesota.

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4

21

9

What does a house wear?

Address.

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8

What has one head, one foot, and four legs?

A bed.

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12

21

What do you call two octopuses that look the same?

Itenticle.

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8

1

12

Want to hear a joke about construction?

I’m still working on it.

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13

9

7

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two!

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8

12

7

1

What did the accountant say while auditing a document?

This is taxing.

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9

27

What kind of music do chiropractors like?

Hip pop.

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2

1

14

How does a penguin build his house?

Igloos it together.

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8

3

9

Why were the utensils stuck together?

They were spooning.

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11

2

How do celebrities stay cool?

They have many fans.

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1

4

9

What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim?

Alphawetical.

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3

Which state has the most streets?

Rhode Island.

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7

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1

Why did the man fall down the well?

Because he couldn’t see that well.

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3

8

12

How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?

By the bark.

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13

1

Why do some couples go to the gym?

Because they want their relationship to work out.

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5

11

5

20

What did Tennessee?

The same thing as Arkansas.

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3

6

9

What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?

The Exterminator.

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8

12

0

Want to know why nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood.

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3

6

1

What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?

Reali-tea.

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7

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3

12

Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?

They work on many levels.

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6

How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor.

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8

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8

1

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

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3

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21

6

Which bear is the most condescending?

A pan-duh!

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4

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3

13

What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?

Gen-A

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16

Do you know what the differences between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter

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8

9

What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?

LMAYO

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12

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3

19

Why didn’t the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

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4

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13

3

Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?

Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.

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16

3

8

10

Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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19

What do you call Bill Gates when he’s flying?

A Bill-in-air.

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16

11

3

1

What did the big flower say to the tiny flower?

“Hey there bud!”

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9

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto!

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17

23

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4

Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?

He wanted his quarter back.

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5

75

13

24

Why do Dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one.

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43

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6

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

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52

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43

12

How does a man on the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

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2

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5

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast!

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