Well this is awkward...

While we figure out what happened, let us serve you a fresh dad joke!

What do sprinters eat before a race?
What do you can wolf that meditates?
Aware Wolf
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What did the sapphire’s best friend tell her?
“You’re a real gem.”
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19
Why couldn’t the family leave the room after playing with Legos?
They were blocked.
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3
Why don’t phones ever go hungry?
They have plenty of apps to choose from.
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What did the geometry teacher say when the class had trouble solving a problem?
“Let’s try a different angle.”
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What vegetable is kind to everyone?
The sweet potato.
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0
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What kind of cleaning product feels a lot of motivation in life?
All-purpose.
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What is Marco’s favorite clothing store?
Polo.
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What did the baker say when she won an award?
“It was a piece of cake.”
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What kind of shape may have been knighted?
Cir-cles.
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2
What’s a writer’s favorite train station?
Penn Station.
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12
1
Why do pancakes always win at baseball?
They have the best batter.
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3
Which bathroom appliance would be the worst life preserver?
The sink.
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2
What did the dad say when his golden retriever was caught eating a hot dog?
“It’s a dog eat dog world out there.”
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10
How do you weigh a millennial?
In Instagrams.
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Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless.
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Which U.S. state is known for its especially small soft drinks?
Minnesota.
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9
What does a house wear?
Address.
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What has one head, one foot, and four legs?
A bed.
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What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
Itenticle.
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12
Want to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it.
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7
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna One, Anna Two!
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What did the accountant say while auditing a document?
This is taxing.
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What kind of music do chiropractors like?
Hip pop.
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14
How does a penguin build his house?
Igloos it together.
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Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
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How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans.
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What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim?
Alphawetical.
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Which state has the most streets?
Rhode Island.
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7
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Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
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How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?
By the bark.
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13
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Why do some couples go to the gym?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
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20
What did Tennessee?
The same thing as Arkansas.
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9
What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
The Exterminator.
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0
Want to know why nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
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What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?
Reali-tea.
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Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
They work on many levels.
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How do you get a country girl’s attention?
A tractor.
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What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
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Which bear is the most condescending?
A pan-duh!
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What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?
Gen-A
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Do you know what the differences between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter
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What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
LMAYO
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Why didn’t the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
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Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
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3
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
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What do you call Bill Gates when he’s flying?
A Bill-in-air.
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3
1
What did the big flower say to the tiny flower?
“Hey there bud!”
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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
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Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?
He wanted his quarter back.
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Why do Dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one.
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How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
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How does a man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
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5
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
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